25+ Ways to Connect with Kids [How to Strengthen your Parent-Child Relationship]
As parents, we want to create strong and lasting relationships with our kids. We want them to feel comfortable talking to us about anything, so that we can be a true help as they face the challenges of life. We want to have fun together and find mutual joy. Additionally, research shows that the best predictor of long-term health and happiness is our relationships. Our relationships matter most. These 25+ ideas for how to connect with your kids will help bring about the kinds of experiences that build strong and lasting relationships.
This post contains affiliate links. By shopping through these links you support Lovin’ Life with Littles at no additional cost to you. Thank you for that support! Here’s the full disclosure.
Not too long ago, a child told my husband and I something that was really hard to share. As we cried together and worked through the challenge, I couldn’t help but simultaneously think how grateful I was.
I was thankful that my child came to us and felt comfortable sharing. I was grateful that I could use what I have learned to help.
Additionally, I was extremely hopeful, hopeful that this kind of relationship would last. Hopeful that as my child gets older, I could continue to be a help, a confidant, a sounding board, a source of comfort, and a source of joy.
I was hopeful that as we both grow, we could build a strong relationship.
How To Build a Strong Parent-Child Relationship
It takes more than sharing the same home to create strong relationships with our kids.
Unfortunately, sometimes we get so busy or distracted that we can feel distant from our children. Additionally, sometimes it’s tough to find common ground. Some of our kids feel very different than we are, and it can be difficult to find ways to bond.
However, I was listening to a podcast recently and loved the way the guest described how to build a strong parent-child relationship:
“Just like dollars are the currency of our economy, connection is the currency of our relationship.”
Dr. Justin Coulson
I love how simple that makes it.
If we want to build a strong relationship with our kids, we need to focus on connecting with them.
How to Find Connection
Connection happens when we share more than common space. It comes when we are joined emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Connection comes when we share a moment of vulnerability or create a memory together.
In the end, relationship is always a two-person experience. Our children have to choose for themselves in what ways they want to build our relationship. But as we raise them, we can always choose how we show up in our relationship.
We can be intentional about the experiences we create and the feelings we share. We can make the effort to connect with our children in real and uplifting ways in order to build a relationship that will be strong, beneficial, and joyful for our families.
Our relationships will flourish when we find various ways to connect with our kids, when we show our kids that our relationship is good for the serious and the silly, the difficult and the fun.
In order to keep it simple, think of ways you can learn, laugh, and love with your child.
To get your brainstorming started, here are 25+ ways to connect with your child and strengthen your parent-child relationship.
25+ Ways to Connect with Kids
This is not intended as a checklist or “should do” list. Rather, this list is intended to be helpful.
What works for one child might not work for another because every child and relationship is unique. Maybe you are looking or ideas to connect with a new step-child. Additionally, some kids feel so different from us that it’s hard to find ways to bond.
So if you are struggling to connect with your child or just want some fresh ideas, here they are.
1. Set personal social media boundaries.
Schedule specific times during your day to check social media. Don’t check it during other times. Strive to be present with your child, even when that feels hard! The pay-offs are beneficial for parents and kids.
2. Share a personal struggle.
One great way to show kids that they can share their hardships with us is for us to share our hardships with them. These can be difficulties from when you were a child, but they can also be challenges you are facing right now.
We can empower our kids to see that hard things in life don’t have to knock us out. Additionally, when we share these struggles, we emotionally connect with kids in meaningful ways.
3. Look your child in the eye.
I recognize that this is Communication Skills 101, but sometimes I need the reminder. It’s easy to get busy doing during the day. In the hustle and bustle, sometimes we forget to make eye contact.
However, so much can be communicated with the simple gesture of looking into eyes. It shows where our attention is. We can share feelings and understand better when we connect with our eyes.
4. Watch a show or movie together, and put your arm around your child, hold hands, or link arms.
Most kids relish the safety and security of positive physical touch. In fact, research shows that positive touch between parents and children is correlated with healthier psychological adjustments in the children. Snuggling during a show or movie is a great way to physically connect with kids in a positive and healthy way.
5. Play a game of your child’s choosing.
If you’re not sure how your child would enjoy bonding with you, ask! Whether it’s Hide and Seek with a younger child, soccer in the yard, or Codenames (one of our family favorites!), let your child choose an activity to do together. This is a time to simply laugh and connect with kids in a fun way.
6. Hug it out.
Have you already heard the research about kids and hugs? If so, this is your reminder. 🙂 If not, in a nutshell, research shows that hugs help us thrive. Hugs are good for our health, emotional regulation, bonding, and much more. Experiment using 8-second or 12-second hugs to physically and emotionally connect with kids.
From personal experience, I know that sometimes all a child needs (even an older child or adult child!) in a moment of frustration or disappointment is to “Hug it out.”
7. Don’t interrupt.
Honestly, somedays I write these just for me. Don’t interrupt. Or cut short. Or start talking the second they stop. (Eek!) It’s really easy for me to talk to my kids, and I often need the reminder to just listen.
Don’t worry about solving the problem just yet. Don’t even worry about how to respond. Just listen, and then ask, “Is there anything else you want to share?” Sometimes that’s exactly what our kiddos need from us.
8. Share something meaningful or mundane about your day.
It’s not all listening all the time! We can show our kids how to share by sharing with them. Open up about how the day went (both good and hard things) and what’s important to you at this stage of life. It’s healthy for kids to see that the world doesn’t only revolve around them.
It is also fun for our kids to get to know us better and become involved in the other parts of our lives.
9. Do a puzzle together.
I understand that not everyone is a puzzle doer. But if it’s been a while, consider giving it a try. Puzzles are good for our brains. And as for connecting, solving puzzles together is interactive but not too involved, which provides a great gateway to conversation.
10. Read a book together.
Whether or not you snuggle up during a story, reading together is bonding. It creates a shared emotion and memory. Stories are great conversation starters. Additionally, if it’s a chapter book or routine, you have the perfect excuse for continual bonding experiences.
11. Cry together.
Sharing in sorrow is a very real way to console, comfort, and connect with our children. It might be a bully, scraped knee, lost friend, or difficulty learning, but hard things will surely be thrown at our children. And while I believe there is a time for empowerment and problem solving, there is also a time to simply mourn together. Although it’s not always fun, being there in times of need is a powerful way to emotionally connect with your child.
12. “Get curious, not furious.”
This is another quote from Dr. Justin Coulson. How do we respond when our kids’ behavior doesn’t match our expectation? Instead of getting upset, this is a great opportunity to connect. How is our child feeling now? What is the hope going forward? Is our help wanted? Get curious.
How we respond in these everyday moments will say a lot about our future relationship and the willingness of our kids to talk about life’s tough topics.
Related: 3-Day Peaceful Parenting
13. Go for a walk or jog together.
Unplug. Whether you push a little one in a stroller or jog alongside an older Little, get out in nature and move. Conversation may or may not happen, and either way the time spent together is a win.
14. Do a chore together.
I am a big fan of teaching kids the joys of hard work. And oftentimes when we pitch in and work together, these become great bonding moments. I have fond memories of Lonely Days blaring as we did Saturday jobs. In fact, there was a point in my life when I thought my dad actually sang for one of those 70’s bands. 🙂
Related: The 5 E’s of Teaching Kids to Work
15. Create alongside each other.
Some kids are naturally drawn to the creative. You could make something together or simply at the same time. Get out the recyclables and invent something. Make a collage, or try following a Bob Ross painting video.
16. Chat before bed.
This is a great way to wind down before bed and connect before heading off to sleep. A little chat time is my favorite part of our bedtime routine. Sometimes it’s serious and sometimes it’s silly, but this bit of one-on-one time is invaluable.
Related: 5 Steps to an Easier Bedtime
17. Have a dance party.
Turn up the tunes and let loose. Be funky, weird, or funny. Younger kids have no trouble with this, but sometimes as they get older, kids shy away from it. Family dance parties are a fun way to get kids comfortable in their own skin and make a fun memory together. Plus, there’s not much better than little kids dancing on toes or learning to swing dance from their parents.
18. Get to know your child better with questions.
Rather than assuming you already know, ask questions such as, “What do you think about this current event?” “How did that make you feel?” or “What would you have done in that situation?”
Alternately, you could play a “Would You Rather” Game. Try a free app like “Would You Rather for Families” from Brant Essam (guess what your family member chose) or use a Would Your Rather…? Book to get ideas flowing.
This book was a fun way to pass some time on a recent road trip. Click image for purchasing information.
19. Share an embarrassing story.
Kids love to laugh at/with us and will appreciate hearing how we have these embarrassing moments too. My kids still fondly remember a family reunion years ago when aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins all shared embarrassing stories. Giggle together, create a memory, and show your kids that we are all human.
20. Learn a new skill together.
This skill might be something your child is already interested in, or it could be something brand new that neither of you know much about. Start knitting, changing the oil together, tap dancing, or coding. Take a local class together or visit the internet: YouTube holds endless possibilities.
21. Bake together.
Bake something delicious. Even if it doesn’t turn out, the smells and time spent together are bonding. We love these Homemade Soft Pretzels from Fifteen Spatulas. Make a double batch and share with a friend or someone that might be feeling lonely.
22. Give a specific compliment.
We all appreciate kind words. Show your kids you are paying attention to what they’re actually doing and becoming by giving specific compliments.
23. Share what you are reading.
Whether it is an interesting article, intriguing novel, or the news, share what you are reading. This is a great way to open the conversation to topics outside your norm. Additionally, sharing what we read can help kids enjoy reading more and lead to conversations about what they are reading.
24. Tell a family story.
We love telling stories about our parents, grandparents, when the kids were born, and on and on. Our children don’t seem to tire of hearing true stories. Additionally, these stories help them feel connected not only to us, but tot he other family memebers in the stories.
Related: A Small Island, A Young Boy, and the Power of Stories
25. Play a sport or develop a talent together.
When I asked my nine-year-old if he had any ideas to add to this list, he said, “Lots of kids like doing sports together!” Then he went on to talk about shooting hoops in the basement. Whatever your child’s sport or interest is, take time to help them develop their talents. Rebound for them, pitch for them, or just play together.
This SKLZ Pro Mini Basketball Hoop has lasted through A LOT of indoor basketball games for years. Click image for purchasing information.
26. Share a spiritual experience.
Share when a prayer was answered or you felt the love of the Divine. Ask if your child has any similar experience he or she wants to share.
27. Serve together.
Research shows that volunteering is good for physical and mental health. Additionally, we feel bonded to those we serve and those we serve with. Connect with your kids by finding ways to serve those around you. If you need some ideas, Raising Compassionate Children in a Conceited World includes 101 Service Ideas for Families.
28. Dream together.
What super power would you have? If you could live anywhere, what would it be like? What is something you want to do in life? Share your own ideas too. Show that it’s never too late to get creative or have big dreams.
29. Speak your love.
Say, “I love you,” and say it often. Make it abundantly clear that your child is loved all the time, no matter what, just because.
Click the image to print 25+ Ways to Connect with Your Child.
Connect with Your Kids to Strengthen Your Relationship
Envision your perfect relationship with your child. What does that look like? What does it feel like?
Chances are, that ideal relationship includes connecting with your kids in meaningful and fun ways. I hope these 25+ ideas inspire and help you create those connections with your child, especially if it has been hard to bond in the past.
Remember, at the end of the day, the dishes don’t really matter, the social media likes don’t really matter, and the never-ending to-do list doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that our children know we love them.
So, do your best, remember you’re probably doing better than you think, know that you’re loved, and keep on lovin’.
Do you want more ideas for connecting?
What are some of your favorite ways to connect with your kids? What challenges or questions do you have about building a stronger parent-child relationship? Please share in the comments.
This post is being shared at some of these Link Parties I Love!
Was this post helpful for you? If so, please share it on Pinterest!
I love these ideas! They’re so fun and creative! I love the one about hugs and dreaming together. I think those are so important. I especially love the “get curious, not furious”. Criticism and yelling shuts us down. I’ve been learning about the brain and how it creates behaviors in the last year and a half, and majority of our behaviors come from when we are younger and the experiences we have. The experiences create beliefs and programs (so when x happens I do/act y). If a child is yelled at a lot and criticized, it does not set them up for success, rather it creates beliefs that they cannot do things, and are not good enough. If a child is understood, and treated with respect and love, they are much more likely to have success and be able to do things in life with ease.
Something my family and I did while I was growing up and still continue to do are dinner discussions. While we are having dinner, my dad pulls up a card or discussion he chose (or lets us choose) and reads it. Then we discuss it. It’s pretty simple and yet it has made our meals much more fun and meaningful. Here’s the site we like to use if you’re interested!
https://www.dinnerdiscussions.com/about/conversation-starters-for-teens-and-kids/
It’s very true that our previous experiences (especially during childhood) shape our beliefs and actions. It’s so important to recognize what an impact our small, compassionate reactions and choices can make for our kids. I love the dinner discussions idea. We do those too and have a pack of conversation cards available in the shop if you’d like to try them out. Thank you so much for sharing this resource, as well as your experience and learning today!
Some great ideas – it is the connection that kids love, doing ‘stuff’ together!
Thanks Sharon! You’re so right…they don’t care so much about what we de. The important thing is to do it together.
These are great! I especially liked the first one about setting limits with social media. That has been one of my big goals this year. My son is only 11 months, so I cannot do some of the things on the list, but I can definitely keep my phone away when I am playing with him and giving him special attention to communicate my love. Reading together has also been sweet. Nursing sessions are sweet right now, even the late night ones when I am exhausted but his chubby little cheeks are just begging for a little kiss.
Linking (in my name) my recent children’s books we read last month, if interested!
Thanks Elena! That social media one is huge; I agree! Keep enjoying those nursing snuggles and kisses (even in the middle of the night!). They go by fast, although I know some days it doesn’t feel like it. 😉 I enjoyed your list of July reads. That’s a great collection of ideas. Reading together is one of our favorite ways to bond too. Thank you for sharing!
********************************************************
Thank you for sharing at #OverTheMoon. Pinned and shared. Have a lovely week. I hope to see you at next week’s party too! Please stay safe and healthy. Come party with us at Over The Moon! Catapult your content Over The Moon! @marilyn_lesniak @EclecticRedBarn
********************************************************
Thank you Marilyn for hosting and sharing! See you next week!
Loved reading through these. Thanks for the tips and reminders!
Awesome! Thanks for sharing! Love you Som!
Marielle, thanks for sharing so many fabulous ideas! When my guys were younger we enjoyed baking together and laughing together. We still enjoy family movie nights and occasional game nights. I find that, with teens, talking with them when they’re ready to talk has been hugely impactful for our relationship. And yes, it’s usually at night, when they are winding down. I wouldn’t trade those late night talks for anything!
Jeanne, thank you so much for sharing this! I can imagine those late night talks are priceless. It sounds like you laid the foundation for that teenage relationship while they were young. I’m hoping to do the same! Thanks again for contributing to the conversation!
Great ideas! Thanks for stopping over today!
Thanks to you too!