3 Life Lessons Learned from a Toddler in a Public Restroom
I was three months pregnant when I graduated from the University. My husband and I were excited about parenthood and as ready as two people can be for such an adventure. Little did I know that grocery stores, parks, and public restrooms would be my new campus and tiny humans my new professors.
One of the beautiful things about parenting is that you get to keep learning forever. One of the challenges of parenting is that if you don’t keep learning, you will sink in the difficulties. Children have a unique way of teaching us the lessons that matter most. As this is a lifelong pursuit, I could write all day on the subject. However, today my focus is one particular class session in one specific public restroom.
We were living across the country from family with our two small children. I thought it would be a wonderful idea for us to fly home for the Christmas holiday. As my husband had obligations, we took different flights. The kids and I enjoyed an extra week of vacation at the start and end of our trip.
So it was that I found myself in a public restroom at the airport with a newborn and a toddler.
Let class begin.
With my newborn strapped into my front pack baby carrier, I sat down to take care of business. Necessarily, I let go of my toddler’s hand, at which point she immediately began rolling around on the floor.
I’m not afraid of germs, but the floors of public restrooms hold a sacred space in the grossness category. Therefore, I kindly asked my firstborn to stand up.
She replied succinctly and without hesitation, “Nope!” On she rolled.
Lesson #1: Life changes quickly.
When I had booked our tickets, my firstborn was a dream. She was cute, bright, my best little buddy, and super obedient. Now, a mere two months later, she was still cute, bright, and my best little buddy, but she had zero desire to obey any direction from Mom.
She had suddenly discovered her independence and with that various forms of the word, “No.”
There is an upside to this lesson that life changes quickly. If parenthood feels impossibly hard right now, hang on. Things are bound to change soon. It’s quite likely that the next age and stage will prove your parenting prowess.
On the other hand, if parenthood currently feels easy, stay humble.
As I watched my daughter’s hair and face smother into the ground, I told her to come hold my hand.
“Nope!” She started singing to accompany her rolling.
I endeavored to distract her with items I could reach from our carry-on, while attempting to keep the newborn asleep on my front.
“Nope!”
I tried to finish my business as quickly as possible, hoping in the meantime that my toddler would not roll under the door and run away from me. I was pretty sure there was nothing I could do about that in the moment.
That’s when the second lesson swept over me, leaving me basking in its humbling reality.
Lesson #2: You are not in control.
For every person who has ever thought, “My child will never do that!” or has imagined a world like the dolls you used to play with as a child, this lesson can hit us hard. Even for those more predisposed to understanding the realities of parenting, this truth can shake things up.
We are not in control of our children. Parents can teach, encourage, discipline, respond, and love. We can’t control nor dictate behavior.
This lesson is really a blessing. First, I don’t want anyone to be able to control me, so it’s a good thing for our children too. Second, I’ve realized that if I could control my littles, I would not manage affairs as beautifully as they turn out on their own. From day one, these kids come with unique personality. It is precisely their individuality nurtured in a loving environment that creates the joy and fulfillment of family life.
My beautifully independent toddler did indeed roll under the door of the bathroom stall and out of sight. I called after her and any other kind woman who hopefully was in the vicinity.
As I flushed and rushed and struggled to zip my pants under the sleeping baby, somehow, a giggle escaped my lips.
Lesson #3: Laugh. This will make for a great story someday.
We are assured that nearly every day, something will not go as planned. Many days, a lot will not go as planned. That’s where we meet our choice. We can choose to get uptight, frustrated, and even angry at the kids or life in general. Or, we can choose to take a step back. Look at life from a little bigger perspective, and breathe deep.
In those moments, we will often find that the laundry list of all that is going wrong is really minutia. In the big picture, we are all growing together. We are going to survive. Most importantly, we still love each other.
As I laughed, momentarily abandoned the carry-ons, and figured I could zip later, I caught up with my cute, bright, best little buddy. I snuggled her up and silently thanked her for the life lessons she was able to teach me in the public restroom.
