5 Tips to Help Kids Forget Pornography They Saw

It happens to all of us. We’re going about our day, when suddenly a thought or picture pops into our head, seemingly for no reason. It’s not that big of deal really. Until that picture is pornographic. And that head is your child’s. After exposure to pornography, our kids often wonder, “How do I get those pictures out of my head?” Gratefully, these five tips can help us teach our child how to forget pornography that they have seen.

It is a gut-wrenching feeling when we find out that our child has seen pornography. And with it only one click away (often an accidental click), far too many of us know that feeling. All we want is to make it all go away.

But sadly, after pornography exposure, our children are now even closer to those images than a click away. Those pictures now live in their minds, and they can pop up at any time.

Often kids describe how they don’t want to think about it. They want the thoughts to go away. It can bring them to tears or frustration. The experience can be depressive, confusing, or overwhelming. And as their parents, we want nothing more than to help them.

The Encouraging Truth

Sometimes I wish my kids had a longer memory (like how I wish they’d remember what I said about not arguing. That was a whole five minutes ago!) But in this case, I’m so grateful they don’t. These pictures can be forgotten, and our children can be free from having them incessantly pop into their heads. And we can do a lot to help them get there.

Here are five tips to help your child forget pornographic images.

5 Tips to Help Child Keep Pornography Out of their head

These are just five ideas. Please share in the comments how these work and what else helps your child. We learn so much by sharing our experiences with each other.

1. Avoid Saying, “Just Don’t Think About It.”

Studies have been done about what happens when we tell people not to think about something. And in these studies, more often than not, people end up thinking about that thing more.

Teach your child this idea. When an unwanted picture pops into your head, avoid telling yourself, “Don’t think about bad pictures. Don’t think about naked people. Don’t, just don’t!”

Rather than saying, “Just don’t think about those videos,” try consciously to choose something different to think about.

There’s another good reason for this too.

Our brains continually clear out connections that aren’t being used. (That old “Use it or lose it” saying is working in our favor here!) So if our brain keeps thinking “Don’t think about pornography” our brain will mark that as a connection that should stay. But the more we can choose to think about something else, the sooner our brain will realize that pornography connection is one we don’t need to keep. Bye, bye memory.

So, consciously choose to think about other things. And the next tip will help with that.

2. Redirect Thoughts Away from Pornography with This Analogy

Imagine you’re watching your favorite TV show. It comes to a really good part and then suddenly, pop! It’s time for a commercial. We didn’t really have a choice whether that commercial came up, but once the commercial is there, we do have a choice.

We can watch the commercial, or we can change the channel.

Our minds are a lot like that TV. We have one stream of thought at a time. But sometimes our thought can be interrupted by a different thought or picture that we didn’t choose, just like that commercial.  And just like watching TV, at that point we have a choice.

When a thought or picture pops into our head, we can choose to keep thinking about it, or we can “change the channel” and think of something different.

The easiest and quickest way to “change the channel” of our thoughts is to already know what channel we are going to change to. We could plan beforehand to think about a favorite family memory, sing a particular song, or tell ourselves knock-knock jokes. We could choose to say a prayer or tell ourselves a favorite story.

This analogy helps kids have a plan for redirecting their thoughts when unwanted pornographic pictures pop into their heads. Additionally, when we are clear about how we don’t usually choose for that picture to pop up, it helps alleviate some of the guilt that can be associated with the experience. Lastly, it is empowering for our kids to understand that they DO have a choice; they don’t have to dwell on those pictures.

3. Talk about the Experience

Get down on your child’s level and Just Talk About It.

Sometimes these images come to mind because our brain is trying to understand them, attempting to make sense of them in relation to what we already understand. This is sometimes called processing.

Talking out loud is a really helpful way for us to process. (Hello, Therapy!) So we can help our kids process by simply allowing them to talk to us about their experience and what they are feeling.

We can ask questions like, “How do you feel about what you saw?” Other possible questions are “Why do you think people make those pictures and put them where you can see them so easily?” or “What do you understand about what was happening in that video?” or “Do you have questions for me?”

Answer your child’s questions simply and clearly, being calm and respectful.

When we process experiences our minds often find a kind of closure and stop bringing up the images.

Related: Our Child Saw Pornographic Videos at Age 6…Here’s What We Learned

4. Encourage Your Child to Create

Along those processing lines, we can encourage our children to create. Whether it is choreographing a dance or painting a picture, creating is another powerful way to process experiences and emotions.

You can keep it very simple by providing crayons and paper or molding clay. Another option is to get out random craft supplies like stickers, fabric, pieces of paper, craft sticks, and pipe cleaners, and just see what happens.

One helpful tip is to not give your child directions. In order to get things started, you might give a prompt such as, “Create something that shows how you’re feeling.” However, allow your child’s thoughts and creativity to take them wherever they may.

5. Engage in Fun Together

Play a board game together, perform a play, read a story, or build with Legos. Tell jokes. (Here are 240+ jokes for kids. I tend to laugh at everything, but my kids thought they were pretty funny too.) Do puzzles or kick a soccer ball. Let your imagination go wild, but find something fun to do together.

As mentioned before, consciously choosing to think about something different can help keep bad thoughts out of our children’s heads and help them forget pornography that they have seen. Doing something fun together where you are interacting and talking is a great way to consciously direct thoughts elsewhere.

Bonus points if you laugh together. Laughter is a little bit magical. It has a bonding, uplifting, and calming effect on us.

Just Love Them

I know there can be a lot of awful emotions right now. But, believe me. Pornography does not have to win the day. Reassure your child (and you!) that this is true.

Pornography exposure does not need to have a long-lasting impact on our children, especially when we support our kids and work through this together. I hope these tips are beneficial in helping your child understand and redirect their thoughts away from pornography and eventually forget pornography that they've seen. And overall, one of the very best things you can do right now is simply be there for your child.

Talk with them. Play with them. Laugh with them. Be present. Simply love them. At the end of every parenting day, that’s what our kids need most from us.

What has helped you or your child forget pornography or overcome the other negative effects of pornography exposure? Please share in the comments.

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