How to be the Fun Mom (And Why!)

There is a danger of being so stressed or busy that we miss out on many opportunities for real joy with our kids. Instead, we can strengthen the bonds with our kids and enjoy these fleeting years by learning how to be the “Fun Mom.” Anyone can do it. These tips will help.

It’s time for true confessions. How often have you said one of the following
to your kids?

“Not right now. I’m busy.”
“What have I told you about…?” (Followed by lecture #327.)
“Please, just don’t make another mess!”
“Hmm. What was that?” (Without actually hearing the response
again.)

I’m familiar with these phrases because like so many, I have used them all, and far too often.

We will all have times when we actually need to be busy, we need to teach the kids the same concept (again and again), we need the house to stay clean for thirty seconds, or we need our focus to be elsewhere.

However, the missed opportunities come when those instances increase in
frequency, eventually blocking us from creating a joyful relationship with our children.

Instead, we need to make our relationships the priority in our lives. One
simple way to shift from nagging, distracted, distraught parent to happy, present, caring parent is to learn how to be the fun mom.

What Does it Mean to Be the Fun Mom or Fun Dad?

First off, what it doesn’t mean.

Being the fun mom doesn’t mean we just play all the time. Being the fun parent doesn’t mean we carry the responsibility for entertaining our kids all day or spoiling them with their every desire. That might seem fun, but I’m not sure it really counts as parenting.

Being the fun mom does mean that together we work hard and play hard. It’s choosing not to nag the kids but instead finding meaningful and effective ways to teach. It’s being the parent who’s not always stressed, worried, distracted, or critical.

Being the fun parent means that at least some of the time we spend together
is easy. We laugh, let go of the To-Do List momentarily, and enjoy being together. We play together. A fun parent is a joyful person and spreads that joy to others.

For some this all comes very naturally. Others take thought and conscious
choices to be this kind of parent. Some of us simply fall into bad habits and
one day realize we’re not quite the joyful parent we want to be.

So if being the fun parent is not your natural state right now, why should
you work on it?

Three Reasons it is Important to be the Fun Mom

There are many reasons to be a fun, joyful parent, but here are three.

1. Laughter is Healthy

Part of being a fun parent is laughing together.

This laughter may stem from watching a funny movie together, telling silly
stories from the day, or having the humility to laugh at ourselves. It might
come from simply being present in the moment and catching the funny things your child says or the hilarious faces your child makes.

Laughter is good for both your physical and emotional health. It decreases stress and anxiety, while improving immunity and healing. It strengthens relationships and increases the ability to get through challenging times.

Laughter is something we want more of for our kids, and the
fun mom and fun dad can bring that into their homes.

2. Being a Fun Parent will Strengthen Our Parent-Child Relationships

Having fun together helps create a friendship and lasting bond. Playing together allows us to connect in different ways. It invites conversation. Happy memories strengthen a relationship for rainy days.

I’ve heard it said that “A family that prays together and plays together stays together.”

Research shows that meaningful relationships are the greatest predictor of happiness. “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” Additionally, a happy child with a close relationship with parents is a great indicator of future secure relationships.

But beyond what studies can show, we know that we want to be close to our kids. We want them to feel and trust our love. We seek relationships that last for our families, through every stage of life.

Being a fun parent can help us get there.

3. You and Your Child Will Enjoy Life More

One summer evening I realized I had been nagging one of my kids all day to get a job done. In all honesty, we both could have prevented the nagging, but I’m the adult in this relationship. Regardless, a question suddenly hit me: “Would I want to hang out with me today?”

The answer was clearly no.

I wouldn’t want to hang out with a friend who had critical or naggy things to say to me all the time.

We can’t expect much different from our kids.

In this case, I could have set my expectation for the day and then chosen something fun to do together afterward. I think that would have been far more motivating and enjoyable than my nagging.

Like this small example, life takes real work. It’s not always easy. However, it is meant to be joyful. We can help ourselves and our children find that joy by being a fun parent.

Five Principles for How to Be the Fun Mom or Dad

So, we’ve decided it’s important to be a fun mom, but how do we go about doing it? Here are five principles to keep in mind.

1. Keep a Fun Mindset

Pay attention to what you are thinking. This is the first step in making a mindset shift.

If you find yourself worried about To-Do Lists or striving for control of a situation because control is comfortable, choose to let go. Choose a mindset that values fun and laughter along with your other positive goals. Find the perspective that sees the humorous side of things.

2. Do It Your Family’s Way

Too often in life, we compare ourselves. We feel the need to do certain things because “That’s just what’s done” or “Everyone is
doing it.” In our efforts to be the fun mom, let’s not fall into this trap.

There are countless ways to be a fun mom, so if baking chocolate chip cookies doesn’t work for you and your kids, find what does. Not every fun mom has to stay up late, know the latest joke, or be a master teller of humorous tales. (I’m definitely not!)

Take the pressure off yourself and your kids to measure up to someone else’s standard.

Do activities together that your child enjoys, even if it doesn’t seem anyone else’s child would.

You might need to go out of your comfort zone sometimes, but don’t try to be someone else. Find what sincerely makes you smile and share that with your kids.

3. Schedule Fun and Be Spontaneous

Take a minute right now to put something fun on your calendar. Whether it’s a one-on-one late night with your child or a visit to the park, put fun in your schedule. Build fun family traditions that you all look forward to.

Simultaneously, take advantage of spontaneous moments of fun when they pop up. My older sister is a professional at this. Whether it’s playing 20 Questions during lunch or turning clean-up into a game, she constantly finds and initiates spontaneous fun.

4. Check Your Personal Habits

Are you a happy person?

Be sure to put personal habits in place that will help you be a happy person. Such habits include quiet personal time, exercise, expressing gratitude, and being quick to smile.

When we are happy on the inside, it is much easier to share joy and fun on the outside.

5. Keep it Simple

About three years ago, I went to pick-up my kids from school. There had been a massive rain storm the night before, and the playground was flooded with several inches of water, more than we’ve ever seen
before or since. The kids weren’t allowed on the playground at recess and asked if they could play on it now. I said yes and after a while they came back to the car.

“Mom,” one of them exclaimed. “I dare you to go roll in the giant puddle!”

When I said ok, the surprise and joy on their faces was priceless. So over to the puddle we marched, laid down, and rolled. We ended up soggy and muddy and laughing.

To this day, when we see a huge puddle, one of the kids will usually say, “Remember when…” and out comes the story.

Talk about simple.

Our efforts for fun do not have to be expensive or elaborate.

Our fun can be as simple as playing with trucks on the carpet or taking the time to snuggle and giggle over silly cartoons.

I can only imagine the day when this crazy, busy, and often hard stage of parenting will end. Although the days are sometimes long, the years really are going by fast. I know I will have major regrets if I can’t look back at fun memories and happy times spent together.

So I am committed to being a fun mom. My kids really do bring a lot of joy into my life, and I want to make sure they know it. I want them to see me enjoying parenting and loving being their mother.

What helps you be a fun parent? What is one of your
favorite, happy memories of parenting? Share in the comments.

Do you want to find clarity in your parenting? Check this out: 3 Things Incredible Parents Get Right (So You Can Let Go of the Rest!)

What Does it Mean to Be the Fun Mom or Fun Dad?