How to Laugh and Find Joy when you Feel Like Crying

“I can’t go,” I told my friend. “My daughter has Hand, Mouth, and Foot.” Then I started laughing. Sometimes when you feel like crying, the best thing to do is laugh.

When You Feel Like Crying

It wasn’t exactly funny that my daughter was sick. More accurate words would be sad, unfortunate, or truly miserable. However, this particular day, her sickness happened to be the straw that broke this camel’s back. It was one more thing in a long list of things that weren’t exactly going “how I would have hoped” recently. In fact, I could have cried.

Instead, in a gift of the moment, something struck me as funny. It wasn’t funny that she was sick, but my life was funny. It’s like those home videos where someone runs into the glass door. You catch your breathe for a moment, but when you realize nobody is actually hurt, it’s hilarious.

It was reminiscent of “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” Could one more thing go wrong? At some point it just gets ridiculous, and so I laughed.

And my did that laughter feel good. It buoyed me up physically and emotionally. It was just what I needed.

Whether it’s a long list of challenges or a singular upsetting event, many times laughter really is the best medicine.

Four Ways to Increase Your Ability to Laugh Even When Times are Tough

1. Exercise Your Sense of Humor

Comedians are masters at exercising their sense of humor. Take an ordinary occurrence, like watching TV with your kids, and a comedian will present it in just such a way that we can all see the hilarity in it.

Look for what’s ironic, miserable to the point of absurdity, or just plain funny. Look for what someone else would see if they peaked into this moment in your life: those glass door moments. Sometimes we have to face these problems like “grown-ups” and work toward solutions, but a good laugh about it first never hurts.

2. Remember the Nuggets

There are funny nuggets in every stage of parenting. Just this week, Little #5 exploded while in the front pack. I found myself literally covered in baby poop: my shirt, my pants, and don’t ask how, even my face. I didn’t know his little gut could hold so much. Adding to the story, I was at a museum, I had left the diaper bag in the car, and it was pouring down rain. Not everyone gets to experience such moments. It felt like one of those scenes in the movies when you think, “Funny, but that would never really happen.” Well, apparently it really does.

Then there are the faces kids make and the funny things they say. I love hearing what kids come up with when they start learning to talk and formulate their own ideas. For example, we call breastmilk “Special Milk” so the two-year-old doesn’t try to share her regular milk with the baby. He only drinks Special Milk. So, I was nursing the baby when my two-year-old climbed up next me and with animation exclaimed, “He’s eating all your chocolate milk!” I guess chocolate milk is pretty special too.

When the kids get older, we laugh together. Over dinner last night, impromptu Napoleon Dynamite impressions by the older kids had us all rolling. “Get your own tots!”

So when you feel like crying because the baby won’t sleep, you’re running late and the two-year-old wants to “do it myself,” or your older child seems deaf to your instructions, recall the nuggets.

3. Choose Your Tribe

I wish you could all live with my husband. I guess that means you’d be living with me too…party! But really, he gets me. We can cry together, and we can laugh together. An uplifting relationship works wonders for anyone’s life.

Find your buddy, your social support, your tribe. Choose supportive, uplifting parent-friends who can laugh with you about how often we have to clean the toilet seat and how sometimes we speak a different language than our kids. Call a sister, join a play-group, or strike up a conversation with other parents at your child’s ballgame. Lean on each other, share your truth, and be quick to laugh together.

If you haven’t found one yet, email me. I’ll be your tribe. Or, hang out virtually with a super funny dad who knows what life with kids is really like. It’s encouraging just to know you aren’t the only one. We’re in this parenting thing together.

4. Find Perspective

Driving home from that short encounter with my friend where laughter buoyed me up, I saw my life from a different perspective. Something told me that all of this would eventually work out. My daughter’s sickness and everything going wrong were threads in a greater tapestry. They were adding variety and intrigue to the finished product. But in the end, that product would indeed be beautiful.

Whether they are parenting challenges or other difficult circumstances, each of us encounters tough times. Life is full of challenges. However, I don’t believe life is meant to be miserable. Sometimes in those tough moments, finding the way to laugh is the ideal solution. Catch your breath for a moment. Hang on to the truth that eventually, this too shall pass. It will all work out. Your tapestry too will be beautiful. And then release that breathe and laugh.

What was a time you were able to laugh through the tough times? Share in the comments!

For More Laughs…

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When You Feel Like Crying