How to Wean a Baby- What Breastfeeding Mothers Actually Need to Know
It’s so easy to do everything wrong as a mom. At least, it’s easy to FEEL like we’re doing everything wrong. We second guess ourselves, worry, and wonder how we are messing up our kids. It’s no different when it comes time to wean a breastfed baby.
We worry that our baby is weaning too young or too old, too fast or too slow. We don’t understand why baby wants to wean when we’re not ready, or we’re frustrated when baby doesn’t want to wean but we’re exhausted with being the human bottle.
So let’s look at what we ACTUALLY need to know to successfully transition our babies off the breast.
What You Really Need to Know to Wean a Breastfed Baby
Breastfeeding fulfills two major needs.
- Providing nutrition for baby
- Meeting emotional needs for both mom and baby, including bonding and comfort
In order to wean successfully, we need to fulfill both of these needs by other means. We’re pretty good at talking about the first, but the second (and probably harder!) is often overlooked.
Nutrition AND Emotion
The weaning process actually begins as soon as you give your baby anything other than breastmilk. Thus, even if you don’t stop nursing until a year or later, you begin weaning when your baby is somewhere around six months. This gives you plenty of time to introduce your baby to a variety of foods that will together meet your child’s nutritional needs.
But honestly, the HARDER part of weaning for me and many families is the emotional side. Even when nighttime feedings are exhausting, breastfeeding is bonding and comforting for mother and baby. The consistent time together and the physiological benefits for both reinforce the emotional connection. So whether it’s mommy or baby that clings to breastfeeding, it can be hard to let go.
10 Weaning Tips for a Confident, Comfortable, & Healthy Transition
These ten tips will help you fulfill baby’s nutritional needs and both mom’s and baby’s emotional needs in order to wean.
1. Don’t Worry
You are surrounded by people who at some point and in some way weaned from their mother. Each mother probably did it a bit differently, and look how well we all turned out! Sincerely, there are some things as parents that we should worry about, but weaning is not one of them. So take a deep breathe, learn the basics, and then trust your gut. It will work out in the end. Don’t worry.
2. Introduce a Variety of Foods and Eating Experiences
Slowly replace calories from breastmilk with other foods. Think about variety. Offer various foods from all the food groups. Additionally, provide diverse eating experiences such as warm and cold, self-fed and caregiver-fed, etc.. Offer the same foods in different ways or combinations. Be sure to expose your child to diverse textures.
Most studies suggest that we don’t need to wait to introduce our children to allergenic foods. In fact, early exposure to eggs and peanuts can lower allergenic risks. Talk with your pediatrician about specific questions.
The exception to this variety is added or high-sugar foods. Our infants have no need for fruit juice, added sugars, treats, and sweets. This is the easy time to avoid such foods as they don’t even know what they’re missing out on!
By the time you are ready to wean completely, your baby will be used to eating a variety of foods that provide diverse nutrients, textures, and eating experiences.
3. When Your Child Doesn’t Like a Food, Offer it Again, And Again, And…
Be patient when you offer new foods. It may take ten times of tasting a new food for your child to enjoy it. Research shows that as caregivers, we tend to make conclusions that our kids don’t like certain foods far too soon leading to more “picky eaters”, rather than continually offering those new foods. So, even if baby spits out peas, continue to help your child taste those peas eight, ten, or even sixteen times before drawing conclusions about preference.
Related: Looking to the Future- 6 Truths for Raising Healthy Eaters
4. Be Safe
As you introduce foods, your child will learn to mash and chew like a professional. During this learning process, it is very important to be aware of and prevent choking. This article is helpful about choking. Especially be wary of raw vegetables, hot dogs, and unpeeled/uncut grapes.
Importantly, your child should be sitting upright and supervised.
I remember one day watching my aunt help her choking baby with back thrusts. She calmly handled a really scary moment and in the process, probably saved my cousin’s life. Learn what to do in case of infant choking.
5. Snuggle Throughout the Day
Snuggle. It’s one of my favorite words. There’s not much better in the mothering world. And we can snuggle whether or not we are breastfeeding. Take advantage of moments throughout the day to hold and hug your child. Read together, sing, crawl together. Be close.
6. Separate Breastfeeding from Sleeping
Sleepy times are the hardest! It’s too easy to calm a tired baby by nursing said baby to sleep. So the goal is to help your baby learn to put herself to sleep.
As soon as possible, (like last week 🙂 ) put your baby to bed awake. This will do more than anything else to help your little one learn to fall asleep on their own, whether that’s at bedtime or in the middle of the night when startled awake.
If your baby usually falls asleep while nursing, slowly push nursing time back until you find the sweet spot where your baby finishes eating tired but not asleep.
Create a bedtime routine that doesn’t put nursing last. As you wean, you’ll eventually drop that nursing, so have your bedtime routine include a book, a song, rocking, or other activites that can continue after weaning completes.
7. Prevent Overtiredness
It seems an extra challenge always pops up when we’re trying to wean, like baby is sick or teething. But we can make the process as easy as possible by preventing overtiredness. This is usually easiest by keeping a routine of set times for waking, napping, and bedtime. The better rested your baby is as you wean, the easier your baby will be to comfort, soothe, keep healthy, and transition.
8. Comfort without Nursing
Nursing can be the easy go-to when baby fusses. It can become an expectation from your child as well. You might recognize this when your little one is fine with other people but insists on nursing with you. Aim to breastfeed at times when your child is hungry, rather than upset. Try to comfort with swaddling, rocking, swaying, bouncing, talking calmly, singing, or rubbing baby’s back.
9. Mourn and Embrace Your New Role
When I started breastfeeding my first baby, I really had no idea what I was getting into. I’m forever grateful for the nurse that got right into my personal space and showed me how to do it. Nursing cramps, engorgement, exhausted nights, and pumping were unknown.
Even still, I cherished the time with my baby. I was grateful to be able to provide what was best for my daughter. And when the time came, I was sad to stop breastfeeding. I was sad to see my baby grow up so fast.
Let yourself mourn the passing of each stage of motherhood, even as you embrace the next. Our role will shift and change as our children grow, but we will always be Mom.
10. Be Patient
A plan for weaning rarely goes exactly as planned. In fact, life rarely goes exactly as planned. So, we better get used to it. Be patient when you determine to be done weaning and then give in. When you really want your body back but baby just isn’t ready, be patient. Work together with your little one. You’ll get there. Both of you. Remember, we all do eventually.
Gradual Weaning Schedule
There’s no right or wrong with weaning, but to be helpful, I’ll share what has worked for me time and again. I prefer to wean very gradually. This means dropping one breastfeeding session at a time, beginning when my baby is around one-year-old. (The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months, then adding solids with continued breastfeeding through at least one year.)
When I’m ready to drop a feeding, I’ll switch to feeding solids first during the feeding and then nurse. Then, I’ll just feed solids and not nurse. I typically drop the middle of the day feedings first, followed by morning, and lastly before bed. This process typically takes me a few months from dropping first feeding to complete weaning.
By weaning gradually, mom and baby both have time to settle into the new norm. I feel sure that my baby is getting enough calories, which allows me to wean confidently. Additionally, I am not engorged and uncomfortable as my milk production slowly declines. We both have time to adjust emotionally as well.
You’ve Got This
Breastfeeding definitely has its ups and downs, but since your baby’s birth, you have chosen to sacrifice your body and time to give your baby what’s best. You do that because you are a mom, and you love your child. (That baby is so lucky to have you.) That same love will carry you through weaning as well and help you find what works for you and your baby.
Remember, nursing met your baby’s physical and emotional needs. Now it’s time to satisfy those needs in other ways. As you do so, you will be able to confidently help you and your baby transition into the next stage of life. And don’t worry; you’re going to make it. Before you know it, that baby will be making her own meals. Hey, if you’re lucky, one day that kid will be making meals for you!
Wishing you a smooth transition through weaning. Remember, there’s no right and wrong here. You’ve got this.
Any questions about weaning? What has helped you successfully wean? Share in the comments or shoot me an email.
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