18 Tips to Actually Be On Time with Kids [Even If You’re Chronically Late]

In a flurry, you grab the diaper bag, find the keys, and strap one kid in the car seat only to hear another say, “I have to go to the bathroom.” You debate whether there is time for that, decide a mess in the backseat is not worth it, wait an inordinate amount of time, wipe a bum, and finally you’re off. Only to arrive late. Again. Whether you are wondering how to get to school on time every day or you are ready to be more timely in general, these 18 tips will teach you how to be on time with kids, even if you’re chronically late.

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The Myth of “Just Be On Time”

My husband is chronically on time, and bless his soul, he married me! He is extremely patient with me, but I’m sure there are times he wants to shout, “Just be on time!”

As I have struggled with this, gotten better, then worse, then better again, I have learned that more goes into being on time than simply deciding you want to be on time. Like so much of our lives, timeliness is a habit. And like so many other habits, it can be hard to break a habit of being late.

Diana DeLonzor is a management consultant and author of Never Be Late Again. She explains that “telling a late person to be on time is like telling a dieter not to eat so much. ‘If it were that easy, we wouldn’t have Weight Watchers.’”

However, there is really good news: habits can be broken.

Whether being late is a new habit now that you are a parent or a chronic one, habits can be broken. With some helpful tips and deliberate choice, you can be on time, even with kids.

Full Disclosure: I am a recovering late person. That means I understand A LOT about what goes into being late. It also means I am not doing these things with 100% accuracy (yet!). However, in my quest to be more on time with kids, I have definitely improved. In fact, it’s probably safe to say I’ve improved a lot given how bad it was. 🙂 These tips have helped me, and I hope they help you too.

18 Tips to Be On Time with Kids

Reasons for being late (and thus the solutions) are often categorized into Psychological or Technical . That means that sometimes there are reasons in our personality or mental health that cause us to be late. Other times, there are mechanics or organizational strategies that cause our tardiness. These 18 tips address both kinds of causes.

1. List the Positives

What positives come from being on time with kids? Write out the list of answers. This could include showing respect for other people’s time, teaching your children how to be on time, less stress without rushing and apologizing, etc.

While you’re at it, you can also list the negatives that come from being late. A combination of positive and negative rewards is highly motivating to change.

2. Understand your Why

Experts often categorize reasons for being late as either technical or psychological. Many of us have a combination.

One expert suggests that if we are late by different amounts of time (5 minutes sometimes and 40 minutes late other times), we most likely have technical things going on. Examples include not planning ahead or believing you can get more done that you can (hand raise here!).

If we are typically late by the same amount of time, this is suggestive of psychological reasons. For example, we might be rebelling against norms or expectations, or we might crave the adrenalin rush of running late.

Understanding why we are running late can help us find better solutions for our specific needs.

3. Face Your Insanity

According to Oxford Languages, one definition of insane is “in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction; seriously mentally ill.”

Now, I might quibble with “seriously mentally ill,” but otherwise, my relationship with time is spot on with that definition.

I don’t have a normal perception of time…I mean, I believe that I am totally able to pack up the kids and get out the door on time in 5 minutes. Despite the fact that it usually takes about 15.

I don’t behave normally when it comes to time…it’s much easier for me to be late!

And I know that at times my relationship with time has inconvenienced, bothered, frustrated, or offended others within my social interaction.

Overcoming The Insanity

So if you are like me, let’s just face our insanity. Whether we are insane due to unrealistic optimism or any other number of reasons, we don’t need to judge or berate ourselves for it. Just call it what it is.

Because when we see clearly our previous inability to see clearly, then we can start to fix the real problems. The first step is admitting we have a problem to begin with.

The next step is embracing the truth that as humans we have the capacity to act. We can choose to change.

(All the credit on this realization for me goes to Tim Urban with his enlightening treatise about Chronically Late Insane People.)

4. Prep the Night Before

Here is a nuts and bolts tip for those of us with tardiness due to technical reasons: prepare ahead of time.

Ideally, at night we can look over the next day’s schedule and get everything in order. This means setting out outfits for school, packing lunches, getting the diaper bag ready to go and easily accessible, and finding cleats or uniforms or instruments or whatever else will be needed the following day.

I know at night we are tired and ready to veg or have other things we’d rather do, but this is a concrete way to follow-through on our new commitment to be on time with kids.

5. Give your Things a Home…And a Way to Get There

Decide on a home for backpacks, keys, wallets, shoes, hair brushes, homework, and yes, everything you will ever need, ever. 🙂

Next, create a routine for keeping things organized. For example, make it a habit to put your keys in the same place every time. Restock the diaper bag right when you get home. Teach your children where they should put their shoes and how to keep their rooms organized.

Related: How to Start Family Routines that Transform Life from Chaos to Calm

This organization and creation of new routines takes time upfront, but I promise it is worth it for all the time and stress saved!

(If this sounds overwhelming, the free Challenge: Organize Your Life in Two Weeks walks you through organizing your home and life and creating new routines to keep it organized.)

6. Plan Realistically

Diana DeLonzor suggests we “relearn how to tell time.” She says that late people generally underestimate how long it takes to do things by 25% to 30%. I know I underestimate for sure!

Whether or not you were late before, being a parent makes getting out the door on time a lot more complex. Leaving the house for a parent actually means dressing, changing diapers, finding shoes, working with different personalities, quenching emotional firestorms, and more. Even if we knew how to plan realistically as a single person, we may need to readdress things again as a parent.

Something we can do to combat this (and overcome the insanity!) is to simply keep track of how long things actually take. Start a timer with each activity or write on a notepad when you start and stop doing things throughout the day. (It’s pretty fun/funny/eye-opening to write down beforehand how long you think things take!)

After a couple days of recording real time, we can start to plan a lot more realistically.

7. Incorporate Bodily Functions into your Planning

This is a specific thing to keep in mind as you plan realistically.

Poop will happen. Spit-up with happen. The child that takes forever sitting on the toilet and never actually goes will happen.

Plan some time before leaving for diaper changes and a “try it” as we call it at our house. (“I don’t have to go to the bathroom,” says my kid. “I know, just try it,” I say. I like this much better than the sudden realization that my child can no longer hold it five minutes down the road or ten minutes into grocery shopping.)

8. Know your Drive Times…Like Actual Drive Times

Again, this is part of realistic planning and overcoming the insanity. I am notorious for “knowing” average drive times. It’s on that side of town, so it should take us about 15 minutes to get there. Unfortunately, it’s actually a 40 minute drive.

Make good use of technology and look up an address long before you need to leave. It’s helpful for me to put it in my calendar even alongside the event if it’s a new location.

Plan on the red lights too. Sorry.

9. Work with your Child’s Personality

Take note of specific situations that lead to leaving the house meltdowns.

Some of our kids just move slower in life. (That was me.) Some of our kids will need extra time to transition to a new activity or get out the door.

We might need to give a heads up when it’s almost time to go or get ready long before needed and then do a different activity. When we recognize our children’s specific patterns and personalities, we can work with them for smooth and on time departures.

10. Teach Expectations and Why to Kids

Be clear as you teach kids what the routines and expectations will be when getting ready for school, leaving a friend’s house, or getting out the door in general.

Teach your kids why it is important to be on time. (See Tip #1.)

Additionally, when I was honest with my kids and told them I had a problem with being late but wanted to get better, they became some of my best helpers. They remind me of my commitment and often beat me out the door.

11. Set Two Timers

After we have planned realistically, it can still be difficult to stick to that plan. I have found it is helpful to take it in little steps, using a timer as a reminder.

So set a timer for when it is time to get ready to leave. Try to be in the car and beat the next timer which says it’s time to be driving away.

In the early stages of changing habits, we might want to set ten timers! The sound can serve as a reminder of our new commitment and cue for our new habits.

12. Plan for the Inevitable Unknown

My sister-in-law once told me a story about taking her child to an activity. On the way, there was a horse galloping down the highway without it’s rider. Being her, she got ahead of the horse, climbed out of her car, and wrangled the mare. She led the horse to a nearby home with a coral, explained the situation to the unknown neighbor, and left the horse. Then my sister-in-law drove back up the highway, found the horseless rider, and told her where her horse was.

My sister-in-law still got her son to his activity on time.

Another time she rescued a crashed long-boarder before dropping off her child on time.

Yes, when it comes to being on time, this sister-in-law is basically my hero.

And when she explains it, you hear that all we need to do is plan some buffer time for our departure. Plan on the inevitable unknown happening.

In order to feel comfortable doing that, you might need the next tip.

13. Drop Your Badge of Busyness

If we leave early, we might actually get there early. And for some, that can feel like a waste of time.

However, we can get over our fear of doing nothing or fear of wasting time. We can stop feeling like we must squeeze every minute for everything it’s worth.

Much of society honors a Badge of Busyness, but we don’t have to buy into that. We can stop doing “just one more thing” before we walk out the door.

If we do, we might end up enjoying those few minutes before an activity to chat with another parent. Who knows, maybe we’ll even have time to rescue horses and humans.

14. Wake Up a Few Minutes Earlier

This is for all of us who struggle to get to school on time every day or battle the morning rush in general.

At some point, we should probably decide that if we’re going to be tired getting up at 6:45, we’re probably going to be just as tired getting up at 6:33. I know, the internal fight is real.

Being tired comes with some stages of motherhood. (Related: 10 Tips to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night!) However, sometimes we bring the tiredness on ourselves too when we don’t prioritize sleep.

At night it is finally quiet, pleasurable time to unwind or get things done. And it is hard to cut it short. That’s totally our choice: we are adults!! So when we can, let’s either go to bed a bit earlier or remember the next morning that it was our choice to stay up and be happy about it.

15. Cut Ties with the Snooze Button

I am definitely a snooze girl. In fact, for a while I would set my alarm earlier than I needed to get up, just so I could have the satisfaction of going back to sleep. However, the snooze button is pretty much an addictive drug. (Well, not really of course, but habits are habits!)

Eventually, I got into, “Should I push the snooze button once or twice? I think I could get away with nine more minutes.” (Yes, my snooze was always nine minutes). And every morning becomes a dilemma.

Finally, I decided to cut the snooze button cold turkey. (Although my husband would probably disagree with how cold turkey that is, as some mornings I still don’t hear my alarm. I’m a work in progress too! Sorry Love!)

I found that with the snooze button out of the way, it became immensely easier to just get out of bed and get going for an on time morning.

16. Retrain your Brain

Start retraining your brain to believe that on time is late. It’s better to be a few minutes early.

17. Embrace a New Identity Mindset

“Start with the who, instead of the how.” This comes from a great podcast episode on About Progress.

This idea can lead us to say things to ourselves like, “I want to be on time, so I am going to act like a timely person acts.” This can be a powerful way to shift how we talk to and about ourselves.

18. Have a Heart-to-Heart and Commit

Whether you have this heart-to-heart with yourself or someone who supports you, talk out why you want to be on time and what challenges stand in the way. Commit to improving and to specific steps you will take or tips you will implement. You can include your children in parts of this discussion as well.

A Good Way to Start Being On Time with Kids

There are a lot of articles for chronically late people, but not as many address the very real problems of a parent. It’s not just one person with quirks we’re getting out the door now. Being on time as a parent is about multiple people and unknowns, old habits and new challenges.

However, learning to be on time with kids is possible.

I hope these 18 tips are helpful, but I also know that a long list of tips can sometimes feel abstract or overwhelming.

So here is a great place to start.

Choose ONE tip. Consider choosing the one that will be easiest to implement or the one that will produce the greatest results.

Next, commit to that one thing for two weeks.

I call this the Two-Week Experiment, and it is basically magic. Do your best to follow-through with this one commitment for only two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, take time to evaluate how it went. Are you seeing benefits? Do you want to commit for two more weeks? Would it be better to focus on a different tip?

Be honest and intentional as you do your next Two-Week Experiment.

This Two-Week Experiment is a simple and actionable way to accomplish real progress, and it’s a great place to start.

Progress, Not Perfection

Being on time with kids (and in general!) is still something I am working on. I am so grateful for my husband who is a great example to me of getting out the door on time, as well as others. Additionally, I am thankful for the grace others give me when I show up late, inconvenience them, or frustrate them.

Extend that grace to yourself as well. We are not be perfect, and the worst thing we can do isn’t making a mistake: the worst thing we can do is to stop trying.

Remember, everyone is working on something. Let’s choose to be kind to others as well as ourselves as we work toward progress.

What tips do you have for getting out the door on time with kids? Is it a challenge to get to school on time or do you have other specific questions? Please share in the comments. I always appreciate help with this one!

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