3 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress with Mindfulness for Moms [The BUT Principle]

As parents, we’re constantly being pulled in different directions. With all of our responsibilities, it’s no wonder that so many moms feel stressed out. The good news is that there are many ways to relieve stress for moms. This post will focus on ways to relieve stress with mindfulness for moms. These three simple mindfulness ideas, including The BUT Principle, can be worked into your already busy schedule. Additionally, this post includes free printable mindfulness reminders and mindfulness journaling prompts. Read on for how to use mindfulness in realistic ways to relieve stress for busy moms.

I love teaching about mindfulness for moms because we already have a lot going on, and it can be hard when we hear we need to take time for ourselves to practice self-care. However, mindfulness is a form of self-care and stress-relief that we can include in our lives without having to schedule something.

Mindfulness is “purposeful, nonjudgmental present-moment awareness.” Here are three ways to practice mindfulness for moms:

1. Use a mindfulness method like The BUT Principle to relieve stress in the moment.
2. Incorporate mindfulness meditation into your schedule.
3. Increase your daily mindfulness by paying attention to moments.

We’ll dig into each of these mindfulness practices and talk about what they are and how to apply mindfulness to everyday life in these three ways.

But before we go on, I invite you to download the Roadmap for Crushing Overwhelm. This four-step action plan will help you stop overwhelm in the moment and work toward a life of greater calm and joy, even if you’re in the busy motherhood stages of juggling all the things.

Now let’s get started with mindfulness by thinking about why it’s worth it to even learn about as we consider some of the benefits of mindfulness for moms.

Benefits of Mindfulness for Moms

Mindfulness practice dates back to the earliest forms of religion thousands of years ago. More recently, mindfulness has entered the secular practices of the Western world. Research about mindfulness has also significantly increased recently. There is a wide variety of ways mindfulness is defined and practiced, so there are some inherent challenges in studying mindfulness.

However, research has shown many benefits of mindfulness. Here are some of them.

• Decreased stress
• Decreased heart rate
• Increased reception and response to social stimuli (like facial expressions)
• Decreased depressive symptoms (like less rumination, greater self-compassion, higher emotional regulation, etc.)
• Increased ability to deal with illness and recovery
• Improved emotional regulation
• Increased attention

One reason some of these benefits occur is that studies show mindfulness meditation changes the brain. It protects against some aging of the brain, boosts the frontal cortex (relational thoughts and emotional regulation), and decreases the amygdala’s response (fear response).

In general, mindfulness makes us more resilient to stressors, and mom life is full of stressors. Additionally, mindfulness increases our gratitude and its accompanying benefits to peace and happiness.

Here are three mindfulness practices for moms.

#1 Mindfulness for Moms with The BUT Principle

One of the best things about a mindfulness practice for moms is that it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. There are many ways to incorporate mindfulness for moms into the day-to-day, without adding another item to our already long checklist.

The BUT principle is an example of one such mindfulness practice.

There are three parts to this simple mindfulness method that I use when I recognize that I’m feeling a negative emotion like anger, frustration, or fear.

1. Deep Breathe

First, deep breathe. Bring air slowly into your lower diaphragm, and slowly release it. This alone reduces stress. Deep breathing calms the body, as it signals to our brain that we are not in fight-or-flight. It also creates space to feel.

2. Feel Your Emotion

Studies show that when we try to suppress emotions, we make the emotion worse, especially in stressful situations. Additionally, mindfulness is a nonjudgmental awareness. We add stress and guilt when we think things like, “I shouldn’t react this way.”

Recognize that feeling the range of emotions is part of the human experience. Emotions come and go. They do not define us. So, just breathe deeply, and let yourself feel.

3. Use The BUT Principle to Move Forward with Intention

My mom always used to say, “BUT stands for Bottom Underlying Truth.”

Emotions come and go; they do not have to dictate what we do. Instead, we can choose how we respond to situations. We can mindfully find our Bottom Underlying Truth.

For example, I might feel frustrated with my kids who aren’t cleaning up like I asked. When I feel that frustration, I can stop and deep breathe. In that moment I can accept that frustration is a human reaction to being ignored, and I can let myself feel it.

Then I can say to myself, “I feel frustrated because the kids aren’t listening, BUT (the bottom underlying truth is) I love my kids and care more about our relationship than a clean house. So, I’m going to choose to be patient and find a playful way to encourage them to clean up.”

If prayer is a part of your life, you can include prayer as you find your Bottom Underlying Truth and move forward with loving intention.

#2 Mindfulness Meditation for Moms

Mindfulness may come easier to some people and personalities than others. However, it’s a skill we can learn. A great way to practice and learn it is mindfulness meditation.

If we don’t already meditate, it can sound intimidating. But meditation is simply teaching our brain and body to be calm and focus. I am no professional, but I have found benefits from even “beginner” attempts to meditate.

A simple way to start with meditation is to focus on our breath. When we notice our mind wander from the breath, simply recognize the other thought, and guide the mind back to the present and the breath without judgment.

Another simple meditation is a body scan, where we check-in with how the various parts of our body feel.

If you’d prefer a guided meditation, you can find several free guided meditations here on mindful.org. There are also many apps like Calm, Headspace, or Mindfulness that contain guided meditations.

How to Make Time for Meditation as a Busy Mom

Some people will choose to adopt an extensive meditation practice. However, if you don’t, you can still gain some benefit from short meditations. You can include two to ten minute meditations while you wait in the car in the pick-up line, before bed, or as a short break between tasks.

Additionally, you can include your kids in short meditations. Research shows that mindfulness benefits children too. Again, this is a skill we can learn, and we’re never too young to start.

Lastly, you can include meditation in your daily personal quiet time, which is one of the big habits I recommend for peaceful living.

Related: The What, Why, and How of Daily Personal Quite Time

#3 Mindful Moments in Daily Living

The last mindfulness practice is to just strive to be present in the moment, to notice and appreciate the small realities of everyday life.

Look in your children’s eyes as you talk or even change a diaper. Hold a hug for three breaths or eight seconds. Hear the birds in the morning, and smell the food as you prepare dinner. Focus as you pray and stay present with your prayer.

Allow your mind to be calm and present, rather than stressing about to-do lists, judging your felt inadequacies, or ruminating on the things we don’t have yet.

I really appreciate how Thich Nhat Hanh describes becoming aware in such moments, like noticing the blue sky and even being mindful as we wash the dishes.

I love how he says, when we practice mindfulness we recognize that “there are plenty of conditions to be happy right here, right now.”

Mindfulness Reminders and Mindfulness Journaling Prompts

When we’re starting a new habit, it can be helpful to have visual cues that remind us of our intentions. You can write reminders and post them around your home in places where they will be meaningful for you. I’ve also created some mindfulness reminders that you can print and put in helpful places.

Journaling about mindfulness is another way to deepen your understanding and practice of mindfulness. The free mindfulness pages include 10 mindfulness journaling prompts.

Click image to print, or let me know if you want me to send these Mindfulness Reminders and Mindfulness Journaling Prompts to your inbox for later.

Mindfulness for Moms Means Mindfulness for Families

Including mindfulness practices into our everyday lives is a realistic way for moms to relieve stress and increase peace and joy. I hope that you find ways to be more mindful. As we do so, we can also rest assured that our children are always watching us.

Our kids will pay attention to the way we breathe before we react. They’ll see us meditate and recognize that we set aside quiet time each day. And they will notice when we share mindful moments and point out a beautiful sunset or pause to laugh with them.

As a result, our children are more likely to bring the benefits of mindfulness into their own lives as well. Mindfulness for moms means mindfulness for families.

Like most skills, we’ll improve with mindfulness as we practice. While it may not come easily to start and we might get wrapped up in daily stresses, every time we come back to present moment awareness, we’re sharpening our mindfulness skills.

So I encourage you to simply start today to be a little more mindful.

What mindfulness practices do you include in your life? How does mindfulness help you? What challenges do you have when it comes to being mindful? Please share in the comments.

What do you do when you reach the end of your rope? When you know there’s more on your to-do list than time to do it? I invite you to download the Roadmap for Crushing Overwhelm. This four-step action plan will help you stop overwhelm in the moment and work toward a life of greater calm and joy.

If you want more support in finding calm in your chaos, learn more about upcoming small-group or one-on-one coaching opportunities with Marielle.

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