How to Reach Goals as a Busy Parent | 8 Practical & Powerful Tips
As I drove down the freeway listening to a podcast, one of the comments jumped out at me. It was Tony Robbins: “The number one thing you need to be happy is progress. Progress equals happiness.” As humans we crave growth and progress. However, sometimes that progress is a challenge as a busy parent. We don’t have the natural progression from grade to grade like we did in school. We might not have a lot of time to pursue our passions. But progress is just as important for us individually and for the example we set for our kids. So, here are eight practical and powerful tips for how to reach goals as a busy parent.
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Why Goals Matter at Any Age
I remember one Thanksgiving driving to a family member’s house and thinking how similar our drive was the previous Thanksgiving. This year, I was pregnant. The year before, I had been pregnant but miscarried before Christmas. This year, we were working on specific career goals. Last year, we were working on the exact same goals. In so many ways, it felt like we hadn’t made any progress during the year.
And that felt awful. It’s not fun to feel stuck.
As I thought deeper that Thanksgiving though, I realized there were important ways that I had grown as an individual. We had made progress as a family as well. And when I focused on those aspects of the past year, I felt much better.
Stepping into our personal potential is fulfilling.
It doesn’t matter if we’re old or young, busy with a career or kids. Progress is one of our fundamental needs for happiness. Setting meaningful goals and striving toward them is one actionable way to progress.
Plus, as a parent, let’s remember it’s also good for our kids to see us going after goals, continuing to dream big and progress. One of the best ways we can help our kids reach their goals is to go after our own.
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In general, we want to choose goals that are specific and measurable. Choose a goal that’s aspirational or an approach goal, meaning focus on something you want instead of trying to avoid something you don’t want. Write down your goal, and ask a friend or family member to help you be accountable. These general tips for reaching our goals definitely apply. But in this post, we’ll focus on eight tips for how to reach goals as a busy parent specifically, keeping in mind the particular time-constraints and responsibilities of parenting life.
8 Tips for How to Reach Goals as a Busy Parent
These tips will help you reach your goals, whether they’re large and exciting or those small things you just can’t seem to accomplish but you know would make a difference.
1. Recognize What You’re Already Doing Well
When we focus on the progress we’ve already made, we prime ourselves to make more progress. Feelings of gratitude and accomplishment breed more positive action. Negative self-talk like, “I never reach my goals. I don’t know why I set them anymore,” often leads to more of the same. Let’s not dwell on our perceived failures or berate ourselves.
We can and should reflect honestly about where we are in life and where we want to go, but remember that an honest reflection also includes recognizing the progress you have made and the good things you are doing.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Dream and Achieve
Do you ever feel guilty for spending time on your personal goals? Maybe you feel like you should be spending more time with the kids. Or maybe when you consider your goal you realize there’s always so much to do to take care of the home.
It’s like we want to set goals, but we feel guilty about the time it takes to actually reach them.
If so, you’re not alone. And today, I want you to give yourself permission to really and truly step into what brings you personal joy and fulfillment.
3 Reasons to Give that Permission
First, you’re worthy of joy and fulfillment.
Second, when you live with joy and dream big, you set the example for your kids to do the same, and don’t we want that for them?
Third, there’s a huge gap between devoting every second to family responsibilities and neglecting them. We can be present with the kids, build meaningful relationships, take care of the home, and still have time for personal growth. Often the goals we want to reach are all about being a better parent. Spending time on personal goals is not hurting our kids. It’s like I often say about self-care for moms: it’s good for us and it’s good for our kids.
Related: Top 3 Myths about Self-Care (And How to Make Self-Care Happen as a Busy Mom)
So, give yourself permission to make goal setting and achieving a priority. You might have to keep reminding yourself of these things, and that’s okay.
3. Focus on Goals that are Important to YOU
Don’t worry about what other people say you should do. Avoid comparison with what other people are achieving. Don’t worry about what you expected to do yourself. Instead, think about what really matters to you right now.
What do you want to do before you die? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered by your kids after they leave home?
Remember, goals around who you want to be and how you want to show up as a person and parent are just as important (or more important) than goals you can check off a to-do list.
4. Make Time to Reach Your Goals as a Busy Parent
During a time when I had a lot of responsibilities (four part-time jobs, four kids, leading a volunteer organization, etc.), I also felt that now was the time to finally write the book I’d always wanted to write. And I did. One of the things that allowed me to reach this goal that was monumental for me was having systems in place that helped me efficiently fulfill my responsibilities.
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I had a meal planning system that saved tons of time, a cleaning system that was quick and involved the whole family, a scheduling system that assured me I had time for my priorities, and more.
I encourage you to put in the effort it takes to learn and implement routines in your home, so you have more time for working toward your goals and doing the other things you want to do. Grab the Simple Systems Starter Guide to learn 3 steps for creating time-saving home systems that work.
5. Weave Goals into Your Current Routine
You might not have tons of extra time during this stage of parenting. But we can still weave our goals into our current routine. What do you already do regularly? Think about constants like eating at a set time, going to bed, driving in the car, and such. How can you link your goal with what you’re already doing?
This is called habit stacking, and it’s a great way to create new habits and reach goals as a busy parent.
For example, if you already brush your teeth every night and one of your goals is to read more, you can habit stack by reading for a few minutes while you brush. You can meditate while you wait in the carpool line, think about your posture every time you push the microwave button, listen to podcasts while you drive, or do ten minutes of exercise before jumping in the shower.
How can you weave your goals into your current routine?
6. Use Alone Time Intentionally
For a parent, alone time can be hard to come by. However, we can usually find some while the kids are sleeping, either during naps and/or at night. (If you need help with an on-time bedtime, check out five steps for a low-stress bedtime.) You may also have alone time while the kids are at school, preschool, or daycare. But if not, I highly recommend finding a friend or two to swap with.
Schedule a recurring playdate for a couple hours once a week. Take turns hosting the playdate. Every parent in the group will have a couple hours of alone time several times a month, while the kids enjoy playing with friends and practice their social skills.
Once you find that alone time, use it intentionally. For example, during that high-responsibilities season, I decided I wouldn’t do dishes while the kids were in bed. I could chat with one of the kids or multitask while doing dishes. Instead, I’d save my alone time for personal goals, working from home, writing, doing something I enjoyed, or just getting a little bit of sleep.
7. Pay Attention to Your Gut
What gets you excited? When you think about running a marathon or taking violin lessons or reading more books this year than last, do you get butterflies? What goal is a little scary big but sounds so cool to just go for it? Is there a goal that keeps coming to mind or keeps you thinking at night? Let yourself commit to it.
Additionally, when it simply feels like too much, don’t feel pressure to push yourself. Life, and especially parenting, is made of seasons. Just because now’s not the time for a particular goal doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. Embrace the season you’re in.
8. Schedule Regular Time to Reflect & Check-in with Your Goals
At the beginning of each year, I reflect on the past year, writing what I learned and accomplished. Then I brainstorm things I might want to work on during the upcoming year. I choose a few goals to focus on for my business, family, and personal life. Each quarter I set goals for my business. At the beginning of the summer and the beginning of the school year, I set personal goals.
Each weekend, I spend a few minutes thinking about the past week and setting my priorities for the upcoming week. I also try to set intentions and honestly reflect in personal prayer each morning and night.
I’ve found it’s very powerful to have this regular schedule of checking in with my own personal development and goals. I encourage you to find a schedule that works for you.
Related: The What, When, and Why of Daily Personal Quiet Time
Quick Tips for Personal Reflection
During these times for personal reflection, start with the positive. As we talked about before, when we recognize the growth that’s happened, we’re encouraging further growth. So, think about any progress you’ve made, even if you haven’t “met” your goals.
It’s helpful to write down our goals, progress, and things we’re learning. Journaling is a powerful way to process. It’s also a great way to remember growth, as we can go back and read about past experiences. It’s so easy to forget how far we’ve come in reaching our goals!
These quiet moments of reflection will help you keep focus and continue moving forward to reach goals as a busy parent.
You Can Reach Your Goals, Even as a Busy Parent
I hope these eight tips for how to reach goals as a busy parent help you step into your personal potential. Make sure you choose goals that you’ll be better off for even trying to achieve. Life often brings unexpected challenges, and sometimes we don’t reach our goals. But, if simply the pursuit of your goal helps you be a better person and experience more joy, that’s a worthwhile goal to strive for. Plus, you’ll be amazed at the goals you can reach, even as a busy parent.
Related posts:
- How to Set Realistic Fitness Goals as a Busy Parent
- Free New Year’s Resolution Printable
- 6 Tips to Handle Parenting Mistakes and Imperfections
What goal are you excited about right now? What makes it hard to reach goals as a busy parent? What other tips would you add? Share in the comments!
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